I Tested the Flextail Zero Pump and was Surprised!

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“An ounce of convenience.”

In the case of this particular air mattress pump, the Flextail Zero, the expression is almost literal. The pump, minus the battery and the nozzle to connect to our backcountry mattress, weighs in at 33g (+/- 1g; mine weighs 34g), which is about 1.2 ounces.

The video will get into what the real, useable weight is (I am a bit miffed by the marketing gimmick of listing the weight of just the pump and not all the things you need to make the pump actually work, but I get why), and the video will get into the performance testing results I arrived at as well as useability and durability observations. Seriously, check out the video if you are considering buying the Flextail Zero Pump.

But, because I try to make the text portion of this blog as something additive, rather than repetitive, to the videos, I want to talk about something else: I have a gut-based reaction when I consider doing something out of convenience, and I don’t think it’ healthy. Hold onto that thought. I want to come back around to it.

But first, I want to talk about a philosophy professor I had that often stated “slippery slope arguments are always false, but slippery slope decision making happens all the time.” His point was that there is not an indivisible connection from doing something today and doing the same thing - or an even more exaggerated version of the thing, tomorrow.

Given that it was a political theory class, he’d use the example of (this was the late 1990s in the USA) a person voting to ban smoking inside of restaurants and then NOT voting to ban smoking outside, or near restaurants. This wasn’t one decision, it was two, and the person in question decided there was enough differences in the circumstances to come to a different conclusion when the second decision point came around. There was nothing about voting to ban smoking in an enclosed place that, for this person, necessitated that we also ban smoking in an open-air place.

But, by the same token, what has actually happened? Many - if not most - municipalities have banned smoking near the entrances (usually it’s an enforceable distance from the entrance) of business establishments. So, while there was no logical necessity to carry out the second ban, because we carried out the first, the normalization of the first ban helped make the second ban more incremental and feel like less of a leap.

What the hell does this have to do with my unhealthy relationship with convenience?

Well, let’s take something like privacy. I can give the big tech companies all of my data. Maybe I let my smartphone be tracked everywhere I go, have all the app permissions on, etc. That would maximize convenience as my phone could alert me when I am coming across something that might be of interest to me - a store I frequent or whatever. My phone becomes more of my digital assistant and alerts me to things I might be interested in but which I am not currently thinking about. It would maximize my convenience.

A certain portion of readers will read that paragraph and get upset. The idea of allowing that level of access might make their gut churn. Maybe they don’t want to be interrupted all day with notifications that distract them from what they actually are caring about at the moment. Maybe they don’t like the idea of any company “knowing” them so well that its devices can predict their desires. Maybe they just don’t like the loss of privacy.

To be fair, I don’t allow that level of data sharing on my phone, not even close to it. But it’s a scenario that might feel high-stakes enough that some readers will wince at the thought, and that is the point. I wanted to put out there an “extreme” level of “purchasing” convenience. In this case, I would be purchasing convenience with a currency of my privacy.

Some readers might have a similar, visceral reaction about Amazon purchases and the idea of supporting a business that uses so much personal data or is monopolizing or… for the sake of getting your espresso machine shipped to you in 24 hours and without ever leaving your living room.

My point is that I have somehow trained my mind to think that choosing convenience is somehow nearly always weakness or - at least - a selfish choice. I think that’s because of examples like the above and the notion of the slippery slope. If I let this app have permission to use my data, then I will let that app have permission. Now, sure, as soon as I connect my phone to the cellular network, I have given up absolute privacy, but there is nothing that says I need to end up in the extreme version of data sharing I outlined, above. I can make different choices each time I come to a new decision point.

And so it is with a convenient gadget like this Flextail Zero Pump. Does taking the extra (after the battery and nozzle, it ends up being) about 2.4 ounces make me a “soft” climber or backpacker or camper? Am I transferring the high-stakes (at least to me) lines I need to draw around choices I make for convenience in other areas like privacy to this decidedly lower-stakes notion of not having to blow into my air mattress?

It feels like the circumstances and stakes are not the same.

But, does making a “compromise” towards convenience with the pump also make it easier to compromise towards convenience in other areas in my life? It may or may not, but let’s imagine the answer is “yes it does.” What is the consequence of that conclusion? Don’t ever choose convenience because you will degrade until convenience outweighs all your other values? Doesn’t that seem as unhealthy, but on the other side of the extreme: never choosing convenience? If I pay someone to mow my lawn, maybe a neighborhood kid who is saving up cash, does that give me more time to play with my (younger) kids? Does being able to deposit a check on my phone save me an hour of driving (there and back) from my bank? Could I make better use of that time?

Sure, that means I actually have to follow through and spend that extra time doing something useful or meaningful, but I certainly can strive to do that.

As is usually my conclusion, I am struck by the “ick factor” I feel when considering either extreme. And so it ends up being with the Flextail Zero Pump. If you watch the video, you’ll hear that I don’t take it with me on every trip, but I do take it with me in certain circumstances where the “convenience” of using it buys me enough time that it becomes materially impactful to my experience. That isn’t true of every circumstance, but it is true of some.